ailers syndrome

Ok I�know in my head the answer is no. I feel that my friends would stand by me but do I know for sure. She said someting to me today that mad me question everything. "I am getting so sick of you."� Am I seriously that bad of a person? I was kind of offended last night. I was told I interupted her "Every time she tried to say something to Andy"� I interupted her once. No it does not make it right and it is something I need to work on but how the fuck does one time equal doing it all night. One more vent about last night. I hate it when people assume that they know my own feelings better then me. Yes I may be clueless at time but what the hell. I think I would know my own feelings better then my friend. Just assume that I was pissed because no one was talking to me for a lil while.�
No I was pissed because you brought up "bar night".� A �night that I do not want to even think about so much because it hurt me so much. Seeing a dam video of that night will trigger those emtions. I am not blaming you for that, you were drunk so you dont even know what hapned....

Yes I know there are a lot of things I need to work on, I realize that. But what will hapen if she does chose to walk out of my life will she take everyone with her? Ok so it will not be as simple as people chosing her over me and liking�her better.� But maybe�it will hapen by�defualt. She is always the one making plans so would I get left in the dust? I am starting to wounder if I should walk away from everyone here.� I am close with my other friends in the group, but hat if it comes to the point that I am no longer friends with her what will hapen? Will it seriously get to the point that I will lose everyone.� Gregg said that I would have to so something prety awull to him in order for him to walk ou of my life...but he is her girlfriend.

Anyway that is not even the issue, I feel like I can not do anything right. My self esteem is so low right now that one of my best friends saying that they are getting sick of me. I have been single my whole life, I�feel that I am ugly and that no guy will ever love me.�� Do other people have a negative view of me and just are not sharing it.

I feel like I am jumping all over the place but I feel like there are two isues right now. The first is my self esteem.� I feel like there is nothing good enough about me to make someone want to be my best friend or to fall in love with me. I�feel like there is nothing I�am really good at in life

The other thing is the relationship between my friend and I. I�know I do need to work on some things like not asking stupid question and asuming the worst when someone blows me off. I also know that I�need to work on the intrupting thing.� But is it realy fair when you talk so fast and so much that I�can hardly get a word in edge wise. Other things are as stupid as hell she says that she is sick of "baby sitting" me. When did I aske her to?� I am a grown women, If I�want to go home with a guy from a bar or take my time when we are shopping (knowing she hates shopping) �isnapos;t it my choice? �She actualy told me today that If I keep fidgeting with my finger then she will no longer be seen in public with me. We will have to hang out with our� friends seperate? I am just so unhapy with my self and mad with her that I can not think straight.

Maybe I should just walk away. I�am not saying that I�dont think the other friends in the group�care oabout me or will cut them out of thier lives. If� she wants me out of her life how close can I�be to them?

electrostatic dust collector, ailers syndrome, ailes, ailes ann mary.